the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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