a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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