I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
