omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
