I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
