dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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