the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
