Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
