I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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