there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
that may or may not have been my penis.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
