I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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