I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
