I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
