i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
