he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
