And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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