If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
