Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it hurts more in the daytime
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
These tits shall not be calmed
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I came so hard my ears popped.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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