I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
