have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
