It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i now understand why vodka
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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