why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
