Old men and throwing up are my life now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
