I wish I could punch you in the face.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
