you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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