under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
