what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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