matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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