what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I did not marry a roomba.
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