I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
