she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
