At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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