Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize