your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
