Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
actually, I'm a sock model
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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