i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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