ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
