He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
