why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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