I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize