Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
