Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize