i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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