is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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