Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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