): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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