Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize