Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
