sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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