you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
