You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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