"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize