Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
