We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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