dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
