why didn't you poke me back
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
