Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
no you cant smoke seaweed
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
