apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
