That's when you crack a 10am beer
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
