on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
