Will you blow on my dice?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
