Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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