I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
