her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize