just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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