I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
