I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Green mimosas i think yes
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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