Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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