There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
