I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
